The Case of Being Asked Out After Being Pooed on by an Evil French Pigeon in Antibes

So it's quite a simple story. Unfortunately, I have been SH@T on 3 times in my life.


So I am sitting under a big tree or trees in Place Charles de Gaulle in Antibes one evening. I was on the phone to my dad talking about something or other (probably another recent strange encounter). 

When suddenly, I feel a heavy and warm PLOOOOOOP! And I think, "Oh God, what was that?"

Of course, I put my hand to my head and I have no idea what that darn FRENCH pigeon had been eating but seriously... it was a lot of excrement. I don't know why they say it is lucky. It sure didn't feel like it.

My dad is laughing hysterically at me from Northern Ireland, where he is safe from being slapped over the top of his head quite frankly. I hung up and I am scrambling to find tissues in my bag. The joys of having almost black hair!

I am trying to look in shop windows surrounding the square to see if I could get a clear reflection! No luck! 

I am supposed to be meeting a friend in the Place Nationale in Old Antibes for cocktails! 

In the end I finally found one of those golden plates that are sometimes found on shops with the names of the owners or profession, etc. I scrubbed. I scrubbed! And I managed to get it off. At least as much as I could see. But I gave it a darn good wipe and rub, it is likely nothing was there.

I turn to walk towards the Place Nationale and there are some people walking down the street. Most people, I can see sitting having dinner. I can see the square.

I feel absolutely ridiculous and I took out my phone to check the time and I smiled and laughed to myself. Of course, something like that happens to me. Gross.

So then there is some guy who I wasn't paying attention to and he does a dramatic head turn towards me after he has passed:

Oh bonsoiiiir!!! Est-ce que vous etes disponible ce soir? Peut-etre vous voulez prendre un verre avec moi?"

I laughed.

I felt guilty later. I hope he didn't think I was a terrible person!

I did not know what to do and it was unexpected. I had just gotten shat on by this pigeon who had obviously eaten something a bit off that day causing a extreme case of diarrhea.

I got to my friend and we laughed over cocktails outside in the warm evening air of Autumn in Antibes and listening to the music coming from the piano bar opposite.

Nomads Coffee has the best cold-press

Some people have odd taste